From crisis to alpha woman: How Sue reinvented herself
At 55, Sue looks back on a turbulent time. After a deep crisis, she reinvented herself and is now happier and more successful than ever. Read now on the blog.
"I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high"
Gloria Gaynor
By Sue Giers
On my 55th birthday, I am truly content with no wishes left. Also because I have succeeded in a transformation. I have overcome a life crisis. Eight years ago, my marriage, family, career – the trinity of my conservative life plan – lay in ruins, and so did I. Intense phases have passed since then. And now I take this pretty number 55 as an occasion for a review. With the intention of encouraging others and thanking all supporters.
"Back then (it really feels far away) my sister and my friends were reachable 24/7. They patiently listened to my laments, cooked soup, poured red wine, and handed me tissues. At first, I had no ear for advice; I was still in the phase of self-pity. I had to learn that easing a pain of destruction requires patience – not my greatest strength. But at some point, I wanted to get out of powerlessness. There is no way around acceptance. That's what the masters preach, no matter which school they come from. My mantra became: Yes, this happened to me and it is beyond my control, I am \"without power\". I am allowed to seek help; that is not a weakness. Luckily, I am naturally curious. So I tried psychotherapy, hypnosis, astrology, fortune-telling, and a shaman's magic potion. With each method, I got a little closer to myself. I wouldn't want to miss any of these sometimes bizarre experiences today."
"What else helped? Curiosity is joined in my quartet of traits by a strong will; I was born under the sign of Aries. After the existential hurt of being a deserted wife, I absolutely wanted to be able to rely on myself again. That sounds casual at first, almost like a truism, but in exchange with other women I learned how fundamental this ability is. \"I can rely on myself\" is a suitable inscription for a ring."
"My long-term goal was to have a good life again for myself and my children. My willpower and my tendency toward athletic ambition helped with that. My personality traits would probably have been enough for a medal career in the GDR. If only I had been praised and manipulated enough. I want to please (myself), that's how simple and at the same time demanding my psychology is. My father, a medium-sized entrepreneur from Wolfsburg, drilled me on the ski slopes in the Harz and on bike tours through Scotland. After my parents separated when I was seven, I lived with my mother. Loved from the heart, but it was my maternal grandmother who truly loved me. My "Omimi Felde" from Vorsfelde understood my childlike longing for reliability, security, and belonging. And my somewhat precocious passion for fashion, which back then was expressed in collections for my Monchichis. My grandmother, with her talent for handicrafts, could easily have worked for Karl Lagerfeld's Chanel atelier. She made things according to my ideas. She cooked for me. She smelled good and was always there for me. My soft confidence as a child of divorce."
"\u201CToo thin, too youthful, too sporty, too sexy, too superficial, too hedonistic, too happy, too reckless. I'm constantly being judged\u201D"
Before my crisis, I had assumed I had received a kind of vaccination against separation pain as a child. The opposite was true. Because of the buried sorrow, I had to go through it again in recent years. In doing so, I strained my relationship with my family but also deepened it. My sister Vanessa is 13 years younger than I am, and she is the person I trust most today. We built SoSUE together. It all started with the design of a hoodie in my living room. We had little capital but a thousand ideas. And the support of creatives who helped kickstart SoSUE.
Fashion and travel are my great passions, and I can say I live my passions as an entrepreneur. That's why I am perfectly happy. Without my accomplices Vanessa and Knuth, I probably wouldn't have been able to achieve this. But I stand at the front, and I really like this place. I am a multifaceted alpha woman. Depending on the day, also the showgirl. And believe me, for this realization and what follows from it, there isn't always applause. Especially when, like me, you use social media and your own person for marketing. Too thin, too youthful, too sporty, too sexy, too superficial, too hedonistic, too happy, too daring. I am constantly judged. Even by my children. "You are always the center of attention, you always think of yourself first!" they say. Actually, that should be a compliment. Because I think mothers generally think too little about themselves and their well-being. That cannot be blamed on me, and I hope my two daughters and my son will someday acknowledge that I chose self-fulfillment. And that I can laugh at myself.
I take good care of myself. I make sure not to harm anyone with my success. Not even by collecting handbags. I wouldn't mind if kerosene were taxed – I'm a frequent flyer, it's still a dilemma. Today, our company SoSUE is my top priority. We focus on sustainability in production, and our designs are meant to be durable. Nothing occupies me more, nothing brings me more joy. Fortunately, my partner is strong enough to endure this priority. Mostly anyway. Above all, he is a family man, and I appreciate how much tolerance and openness he models for his sons and my children. This also includes the challenge of living under one roof with me. With a woman who beats him at tennis and speeds past him on the ski slope. A creature who resists as soon as she feels restricted—in thinking, in acting, in constant change. And yes, also in the fear of losing everything again. Some nights I wake up and in those darkest hours, everything is at stake again. I have learned to starve this fear.