Life - The way I like it
Sometimes we meet women who simply have a great story. One such woman is Chinelo Egbuna-Redmann, who now works as a coach in Hamburg. For SoSUE, she wrote down her story for us. How it all began and that sometimes detours are needed to find what makes you happy.
By Chinelo Egbuna-Redmann
My name is Chinelo Egbuna-Redmann, I am almost 50 years old now, mother of three adult children, and this is my story. Does anyone know this? Someone approaches you and says: "Hey, tell your story. How did you actually come to coaching? Was there something that triggered it?" My first reaction was – no nostalgia trip, the second… the trip was actually mega so far, go for it! One of many answers in advance: YES, I definitely have one or the other experience in life that led me to hang up my media career after 28 years and dedicate my professional existence to people and their lives, dreams, and successes.
It all started with a very exciting but very difficult childhood in Nigeria as the child of two parents who devoted their lives to architecture in Berlin, Lagos, and Warri and in the 70s were exposed to many prejudices and discrimination on both the German and Nigerian sides.
As a "mixed child", I now freely call myself at this point, I was actually at home everywhere and nowhere in both cultures. I was too white to be black, too black to be white, too German to be Nigerian, and too Nigerian to be German. Frankly, sometimes that was cool, sometimes it felt like a house without a roof. It was always said: "Tell me, where do you actually prefer to be? Can I touch your hair? Do you live in huts in Nigeria? Do white people eat too much pepper or why are they so light? Does your mom glow in the dark? Does your dad always have to smile so you can see his teeth? You hardly see him in pictures because he is so dark." (back then, mostly black-and-white photos were taken).
Added to this were discussions on both sides of the families and relatives about religion, values, monogamy, and polygamy – topics that shaped my childhood and especially puberty. I grew up with the awareness that people are and may be border-crossing. However, this courage is received differently by every society. Different skin color, different thinking, or also different gender are not always welcome. A touch of stubbornness combined with a good dose of curiosity and my lifelong love for people with their stories was thus awakened. But it took more than two decades and detours to get to coaching.
In the first part of my life, after high school, au pair, and studies, I first landed as chief reporter for the Bild newspaper, then followed BUNTE, MAX, Allegra, and many other magazines. Then came senior editorial positions including at Life & Style, Living at Home, and InTouch. In between or rather in the midst of it, I had three wonderful children, got married, and everything seemed fine. Until one evening in 2013 at 10:45 pm, I was sitting in our attic, feeling like the hundred-and-eightieth load of laundry thrown into the dryer, and suddenly had a five-hour crying fit. I sat on the blue linoleum floor, clinging to an XXL bottle of detergent and didn’t understand the world anymore. I thought: "Hey, everything is fine. Checklist: husband, house, children, money – all great. But if everything is so great, why am I actually so sad, so far away from everything and nothing?"
In the following years, I noticed that instead of developing towards people, I had moved in the opposite direction. All the years of interviews, stories about stars and celebrities, people and their successes, the children, the family, everyday life, the ups and downs of my own and family existence had led to me not knowing a spark anymore about what actually interested me about myself. I felt like a bored guest in my own life and professionally an invisible interviewer without my own self in the life carousel of others. Phrases like: "You are never satisfied" or "good is not good enough" and "difficult childhood? So what? Now just let the past rest" haunted and occupied me.
I started writing books because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and continued to struggle in the corporate world (don’t worry, the books were not hits, I would have mentioned that here). On the side, I secretly signed up for training, lectures, seminars, and workshops on the topics of psyche, anthroposophy, people, and companies. Suddenly, I felt attracted to people in their complexity again, but at that time I did not dare to express it. "What if others think she’s crazy" or "What does she suddenly think of herself?" I preferred to shape my research urge in secret. Among other things, with the help of Paul Ekman, researcher of nonverbal communication, and a visit to the Max Planck Institute in Hamburg. The lectures and insights I gained from this ultimately led me in 2016 to the following realization: stop, now a break is needed, start doing what you love or at least start the attempt. Don’t get stuck and don’t blame others for your own shortcomings!
I gladly admit, it wasn’t really a proper break. Money doesn’t exactly grow on trees, but I was lucky to accidentally get involved in the marketing of a family business focused on medical technology, whose owners were totally fascinated by the subject of humans and their abilities. "We always wanted to know how to empower employees and ourselves more. So if you want to dive deeper into this field and we also benefit from your insights by you coaching employees and management, we have a deal." And so it began! From then on, between three children, a job in Hamburg, divorce, and one and a half years of coaching studies, I sat every month at the end of 2017 on the train to Heidelberg. The goal: block classes at the CTI Coaching Institute plus training in psycho-physiognomy, facial diagnostics in humans. In 2018, I founded my company "CoSkills - coaching people" in Hamburg.
Phew! Yes, that was exhausting but worthwhile. Every train ride was like another journey to what I had always wanted to do but never dared: focusing on people, but this time to support them and not, as in the past, to position myself through a mega story. I couldn’t believe what an uplifting feeling that was and still is today. Accompanying people, contributing to the success of companies by supporting their employees, I absolutely do nothing else more gladly – I know: you don’t toot your own horn!
My name is Chinelo Egbuna-Redmann and this is my story – so far.
Photo: Gulliver Theis
The former journalist Chinelo Egbuna-Redmann was born in Berlin and partly grew up in Nigeria. The mother of three children now works as a coach in Hamburg and has specialized in personal development. Those who want to learn more about her work are recommended to visit her website coskills.org