The relationship saviors
Myndpaar is an app for couples who want to work on their relationship. According to a recent survey by the Federal Statistical Office, 50 percent of marriages fail and 25 percent of respondents said their relationship is stable but unhappy. Here, Myndpaar founder Leonie Wilken and her father, the clinical psychologist and co-founder Ulrich Wilken, see many opportunities to save relationships in the future. Both believe that a breakup doesn't have to happen if couples or the individual partner use myndpaar regularly for 20 minutes a week. In an interview, Leonie Wilken explains the benefits of myndpaar.
How did you and your father come up with the idea for a couple counseling app?
That's a question we get asked often and quite rightly so. I come from the business world and worked about five years in a corporation. One day my father asked me if I could help him design a presentation on couple therapy. It really looked terrible. So I helped him and understood the brilliance of his concept. The lecture covered the typical course of three couple therapy sessions. That's when I had the idea to not only convey his theory and concepts to colleagues but to make them accessible to all couples out there. That was the birth of our joint project "myndpaar".
How does myndpaar work? Does it have to be a real crisis already?
Let's be honest, no relationship is perfect. Even the most stable relationships can use some help from time to time, but finding the right program isn't easy. That's what myndpaar is for! Myndpaar is an app that has shown you can find new and vibrant ways for yourself and your relationship, alone or together. In 10 modules, 10 tasks, and a live consultation, you will explore your potentials and difficulties, understand your patterns, and shape your future. You decide how much time and to what extent you want to use myndpaar. There are several times when the app can be helpful. Some of these are:
- Preventive: If you want to protect yourself from old patterns repeating.
- If you always argue about the same topics and don't know how to get out of these entrenched situations.
- If you have communication problems and talk past each other.
- If you want to know what your future could look like.
- If you are dissatisfied with your life and want to develop more for yourself.
- If you wish for more liveliness in your relationship again.
The interesting thing is that most people currently use myndpaar alone. We didn't expect that at first.
Can you change anything solo at all?
Definitely. myndpaar is about getting to know yourself better, finding out why you are sometimes dissatisfied in the relationship, and trying new things. We all have our own problems, emotions, fears. It can help us a lot to deal with impactful experiences or hurts in childhood and youth. This way, we can understand how we tick today and what influence that might have on our relationship. If we're honest, arguing isn't really about the little things in the household, like who takes out the trash. Usually, much bigger questions lie behind it: Am I seen, do I feel accepted as I am? This also means that we probably can't change the other person, but we can change ourselves. And thus, quite obviously, also the relationship.
And do you have another tip for a successful relationship?
An important foundation for a successful relationship is the acceptance of being different. When we respect the other's world, we send a signal of appreciation. We strengthen our relationship by treating each other mindfully and respectfully. This does not mean that there can't be disagreements. But it means that a basic attitude of curiosity and interest in the partner's world is a prerequisite. So my little tip is to share more often with each other what you appreciate about the other. It sounds trivial, but it has been shown that many people have forgotten to express their appreciation.
You can find more information at www.myndpaar.de . You can find the apps in the Apple App Store or for Android in the Google Play Store. The app is free. You can also test the 1st module and the 1st task for free. Afterwards, you either pay 19.99 euros monthly or a one-time fee of 69.99 euros.