Body refuses Dream Body

SoSUE man Knuth believes that his body is not interested in him and does its own thing. About an emergency community without muscles.


It was pure coincidence. The love of my parents and five minutes of pleasure brought us both together. My body and my consciousness became Knuth.

 We have been a couple for 54 years now and I can say of myself that it was not love at first sight. It is rather a pragmatic relationship to cope with everyday life. I don't want to complain, he does his job. But unfortunately he doesn't care how I feel in his skin. He could be a little more enthusiastic about me; I think it's more side by side rather than together. My body just does what it wants.


When I look at myself in the mirror, I feel that God has a sense of humor. He gave me a body whose figure reminds me more of a compact Ming vase with a belly. I always wanted to have the body of Bruce Lee. The kung fu star was all muscle and could move like a cat. A fighting machine from Hong Kong. That's exactly how I wanted to be. I even attended a kung fu school, which I left because my body felt the training was too hard. Even simple things like getting up from a cross-legged position strained him. My desire to become an alpha dog punished my body with sore muscles and strains. As the gospel of Mark says, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 


In order to keep my Ming vase figure, I do a lot of sports. I have to exercise because my body unfortunately likes everything that is made of fat and sugar. If it only comes near a snack bar, it becomes a beast that I can hardly control. Then even the fries on my nieces and nephews' children's plates are not safe from me. Without running and weight training, I would soon look like a fat Buddha.


My body pursues other ideas when it comes to my figure - I have understood that. What I don't understand, however, is that this body thing can do everything with itself. Of course I observe my body and listen to it and try to interpret the signals. But I imagine that it would be an advantage for our relationship if he would tell us more about himself. I don't want to puzzle any more about what is the cause of a sudden food intolerance or cold. It's not too much to ask to announce an ailment in advance and explain where it comes from. It would save me waiting room hours and health forums.


An example of his moods: One night he woke me up. My little toe was wildly throbbing. It looked like a tomato. As soon as I got up, I limped into a doctor's office. The examination showed that my toe was fine, although it was thick and red. The doctor had no explanation either. My body remained silent the whole time. A few poultices later, the whole thing was over. To this day I still don't know what happened.


I understand that my body is subject to the constraints of biology and evolution.

It's a complex matter that requires many resources. Of course, he hardly has time to deal with my wishes and needs. My body is just a doer who does his thing.


This cluster of cells remains a mystery to me and will continue to cause irritation. During a fitting, a men's tailor once put it in a nutshell: "Mr. Stein your orthopedics is very strange! Something is not right here!" How right the man was.



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